How to look like a snob :)

I want to know how to properly taste wine like a rich snob! Of course everyone knows how to fake this but I really want to know how to properly do so that I can back it up with some ridiculous big-worded description of the sip I just experienced. So here is what I learned...

Not only are there specific ways to talk about and describe wine, there's also a "correct" method for tasting it. Though many people think that having a wine tasting technique is just a hallmark of snobbery, the technique actually exists for just one reason: so that you, the wine drinker, can better enjoy your wine.

Wine Tasting Technique
To experience the fullest sensation from a wine, you have to devote time and your senses to it--which proper wine tasting technique help you to do. The technique can be summed up in 5 S's: see, swirl, sniff, swish, swallow.

1. See
Part of the enjoyment of wine is building up anticipation and surrendering yourself to sensation. Enjoying the visual attributes of a glass of wine is the beginning of this experience. As you pour and hold the wine, notice its:

• Clarity and color: Observe the hue of the wine against the light. White wines range from pale green or yellow when young to deep amber when aged. Red wines redden as they age, from dark blue or purple to red and then a russet brown. Lighter-bodied wines are also generally lighter in color.
• Legs: Tilt the wine glass so that the wine runs slightly up the side. Now set the glass flat again. Certain wines form rivulets running down the side, called legs or tears. This is a function of the wine's viscosity, or flow, and the rate of evaporation of the alcohol.

2. Swirl
Swirling works air into the wine, which helps amplify and develop the wine's flavors. Swirl the wine consistently and in the same direction, taking care not to spill. The less wine there is in the glass, the more vigorously you can swirl it.

3. Sniff
After swirling the wine, stick your nose into the glass and take a deep whiff of the wine's aroma (also called its nose or bouquet). Contemplate and try to name the aromas you discover (woody, fruity, smoky, breezy, etc..) At first this naming process might be difficult and seem pointless. But after a while it'll become easier, and you'll start to make connections between the aromas of different wines.

Your sense of smell is much more acute than your sense of taste. In fact, much of what you think of as your sense of taste is actually your sense of smell, as aromas from the food you chew reach your nose through the back of your throat. Many serious wine drinkers enjoy smelling wines almost as much as drinking them.

4. Swish
Now sip the wine and draw in some air, then gently swish the wine around your mouth for a few seconds.

Wines are said to have a beginning, a middle, and an end. In each stage, a good wine creates different flavors, aromas, and textures in your mouth and nose. The first flavor you might notice is the sweetness or dryness of the wine. As the wine moves toward the back of your tongue, the sweetness may or may not progress into sourness and, possibly, a tingling astringency in the hollows between the cheeks and gums as the acid and tannins take hold. Meanwhile you'll also feel the texture of the wine: its thickness or thinness, roughness or smoothness. As the swishing vaporizes and energizes the aroma of the wine, you'll smell the wine's aromas.

5. Swallow
When you swallow the wine, don't immdeiately reach for another sip or take a bite of food. Instead, concentrate on the finish of the wine-a cleansing, acid crispness lingering on the deep back and sides of the tongue. Now go for that next sip, repeating the whole process if you like.